The intolerable alphabet of a dramatic and traumatized womyn of color by celeny gonzalez

 

 

Act

Action  

Accommodations 

 

Bodies 

Blood

Bath

 

Consistent

Cut

Child

 

Defeat

Desire

Depletion

 

Ethics

Equality

Eat

 

Fixture

Fast

Fathom

 

Go

Get

Gone

 

Hero

Hurt

Hollow

 

Intuition 

Ingite

Indifferent 

 

Jail

Jagged 

Justice

 

Killings 

Keep 

Knowledge 

 

Lost

Loose

Love

 

Much

More

Madness

 

Naked

Natural

Nocturnal

 

Open

Oppressed 

Oh

 

Please 

People

Policing 

 

Quite 

Quiet

Quick

 

Rest

Release

Restrict

 

Survive

Sex

Surrender

 

Tame

Thighs

Temper

 

U

Until 

Us 

 

Vacate

Vacant 

Vaccinate

 

Wild

Without 

Winter 

 

Xoxo 

Xenophobia 

X

 

Yearn

Yes

You

 

Zero 

Zeal

Zenith

 

 

 

 

movie review: Animal Love by celeny gonzalez

 “Never have I looked so directly into hell.” Werner Herzog on Animal Love

 

Animal Love (“Tierische Liebe”, 1995) a film by Austrian filmmaker Ulrich Seidl displays an observational view into the world of animal lovers.  With a candid camera approach, a kind of cinema verite, the film tells a story about interaction, partnership, love, loneliness and sexuality between pets and their owners.

“Ordinary day is a strange tragedy.” (Seidl) The beginning of the film is a straightforward shot of a large dog being caressed by his owner who is whispering words of affection and affirmation to the rapid tail-wagging canine. Soon after, the film is dominated by the portrait of a young street beggar who after some time of fruitless encounters buys a rabbit and then uses it as an excuse for street panhandling, which in turn becomes quite profitable. This introduces the first of three rhetorical appeal tools. In this case, pathos: a method used to trigger a specific emotional response. Or in other words, “the means of persuading an audience by an appeal to emotions such as pity, guilt, anger, or love. Imagery, imagination, and anecdotes, i.e.: mini-stories can be used to (create) great effect.” This film thus observes a series of experiences by a dozen individuals whose relationships with their pets replace, or displace, the intimacy and companionship of other humans. The director aggressively opens the most private realms, showing pets and their owners set up in bed, engaged in disturbingly sexual poses, while creating a near demented inter-dependency of animal-human exchanges.

The atmosphere of the film takes place in an empty landscape of Viennese conurbation periphery where dark colors of gray, beige and browns sift representations of basements, small rent-controlled apartments and abandoned streets. The language used throughout the film is relatable and common. We see owner’s extending generous gestures of love and compassion to their pets even in their broken-down homes. Seidl’s strategic form of documenting these interactions helps identify the second rhetorical tool used in the film, logos, which is, “means of appealing to an audience through logical reasoning. Reasoning which is true (based on fact) and which follows a logical progression.” To believe this film to be non-fiction and to watch how pets are turned into what their owners envision as intimate friends, i.e. how people treat their pets like human partners, all the while treating their human partners like pets proves to be enough evidence for logos to be identified. Moreover, one initially feels sympathy and sadness for the animals, after which Seidl allows a shift and emotions of understanding and concern, are transmitted towards the owners.  

Lastly the third rhetorical tool used by Seidl is, ethos, which explains, “the means of moving an audience to agreement by establishing one's own credibility and one's ethical center.” To illustrate this point I would like to point towards the end of the film, where the viewer is presumably expected to have following responses: empathy towards the pets, consideration for the owners and, finally, complete devastation for both animal and human. Seidl completes this masterfully and strategically.  Also, one feels that the overall argument of the director can be summed up as “Hell is us”; namely, that we ourselves create and perpetuate our own misery. His perception and analysis of today’s society is plainly apparent: in today’s boom of technology and global communication, humans still use pets to fill personal voids that civilizations do not fill in other ways. Animal Love operates as a convoluted statement rather than a portrait or a display of research results. Seidl allows the perfectly trusting and uncovered characters to portray themselves, only to than transparently transform them into the victims of their own lives. Cutting precisely into the grayness that lies between omnipresent problems of loneliness vs. love and nature vs. nurture.

Animal Love is a documentary on human non-communication and the complete (mental, physical, emotional) isolation it can lead to. The director makes it clear that as far as he is concerned the domestication and obsessed dependency humans have created towards animals is both detrimental for humanity and for animals alike.

 

Industria 167 apt01/ Animas y Trocadero. by celeny gonzalez

 

Tu dices: 

“La fiesta en casa recuerda que es de “Traje”. Nos vemos. Besos en todo tu cuerpo.” 

“El futuro persigue al tiempo, saber que el presente es concebido para ti, acaso porque existimos o acaso porque los acasos son hechos para el horizonte, donde se gastan los aciertos? acaso en tu saberes.” 
-(3:15 pm)

“Todos esos momentos los quiero vivir contigo salir juntos compartir nuestros universos nunca te mentí eres muy especial para mi espero puedas sentirlo”
-(7:44 pm) 

“Extraña es la naturaleza humana pensamientos volatiles condensan el espacio en que no estas me he dilatado las pupilas mas solo puedo ver tu luz dentro de mi.”
-(12:33 pm) 

Yo respondo: 

Si? 
………si. 

No negas en darme el si.

Hablamos con palabras y sin movimientos (en el principio) usamos mentiras como arma, para protejenos de la verdad. 

Sabemos
sin
saber
que
el
futuro
ya
se
sabe 

“dale-dale mami” y “ay, que rico” me dices con unos deseos que no reconozco ….esto no es la realidad ni es un sueno es un intercambio entre ambos mundos. Caminamos las playas de mi cuerpo y bailáramos en el rincón de mi cintura.  Me hablas y me dices nada.  Nada que puedo oír en el sentimiento y 1/4 de mi corazón. El ocupante es otro y el me domina pero en esto sentido tu atravesado a otro reino, uno que solo tu puedes entrar. Lagrimas cae de mi ojo izquierda pero no te das cuenta. 

“Pero que dieran de mi, tengo un amor de pasión, por eso que al otro yo no le puedo dar el si” 

La problema es, que no te creo. 
-todo lo que dices me suena como susurros de lava que queman.. 
-como buitres de la plaza de la revolución que vuelan esperando para la próxima cena. 
-vuela, vuela

Deseo ser:
—transparente y verdadero. 


 

Saper Vedere (Learning to see) by celeny gonzalez


Swayed and swooning through the jet black crowd of onlookers

she danced

heat arose

step by step to the somber tune in her heart

she played.

Pushing and expanding

a morphing of liquids materialized,

white forms of foam settle in

over a black molasses tree

 infinitely similar to,

coffee = light and sweet,

turn the spoon

settle in the sediment.

 Threatening to leave just two days before,

(luggage still in tow)

they kissed

"Melodiousness" had arrived.

Clouds merged, clocks ticked, newspaper printers clicked..

in that instant the spectator would believe to know the meaning of love.

Their songs transfer to final destinations

they delicately skipped and furiously stomped upon petals of wisteria

Sending blows of gray smoke and fairies dust over the party favors and obituaries.

Two in one:

far more intensifying and cruel than its counterpart: one in two

*eclipsed yet apart*

_---------------------------------------------------------_

 Without the knowledge of scientific terms,

How can one explain the beauty of shadows?

How does one see while looking?

To see is to experience the unseen

Is this emergence physical?

 (or)

Worlds were built

While they stared into their own images

Transfixed upon the unreal and unknown

Rooms with storage held spaces for unoccupied applicants

And all the while they watched their own

From the groin to the ground, walls were created to maintain purpose

From the chin to the chairs, everything disturbed nothing

From the ceiling to their hearts, boundaries initiated spasms of disruption

(meanwhile) 

She speaks in volumes of daggers and spears thrown from a soft place full of illusions and fears

She means no harm just a reminder of a hurt that stems from within her

from her place of birth (birthplace?)

accelerating into disappearance (age?)

 Forgive or warp her

Leave or seduce her

Love or destroy her

Just make sure you look.

 

 

movie review: Biutiful by celeny gonzalez

Movies are in a certain respect windows into microcosms of lived experience. They have the ability to be race-makers and place-makers for international audiences. Namely, movies can represent voices unheard and areas ignored, offering a contribution to the structure and hegemonic view of cultural norms. When looking at urban related movies this could not be truer. The overarching attempt to understand and examine space and cities is simultaneously extraordinary and problematic for an urban studies student. Each city’s characteristic spatial communication is dependent of its history, various cultures, geopolitical location and economic value. The details of every relationship developed within the cityscape cater to the regions that surround it and more importantly affect its social developmental in a global market scale.

In the same vein, urbanist scholar David Harvey writes: “In the city everything affects everything else.” In other words, a city’s urban imaginary is the fluidity between the actual and the invented space we live in, between phantasms and projections, between dreams and our limited daily confrontations. A population that resides in a metropolitan city creates voids for spaces unknown to them while simultaneously these voids fill the residents with conceptualizations dependent on cultural perceptions. Cities are therefore in constant negotiation between the real and imagined which are deeply intertwined and mutually constitutive. The city (as a concept) is far too complex (and large) for a singular dose of interpretation.

When moving within a city one’s eyes provide a viewpoint, while the imagination of what occurs concurrently makes one’s point of view, that is, an extended vision of life in the city. Taking this further, cinematic representations of cities also determine their connectivity to the consumerist-oriented audience and thus give an additional layer of interpretation to the space represented. Media interpretations shape cities and they in turn shape us. This changing representational reproduction can define the city’s value as a commodity or a brand (i.e. film tourism, fabricated repetitions of movie characters and scenes); representations further provide escapism, nostalgia, or memory of something that happened in the imaginary “long time ago” (i.e. slavery, wild west, noir 50s); or else they can decline city’s potentiality due to negative realism (i.e. “City of God” vs. Rio de Janeiro).

For these reasons, I selected Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu’s film Biutiful (2010) to engage with the central issues addressed throughout the term. In accordance with Iñárritu’s portrayal of Barcelona, my main argument questions how (post) modern capitalism transforms urban social space, which in turn affects experience of immigration, social exclusion, the supernatural and race.

The city is a symbolic condenser of socio-cultural values, an intersection of space and society. I believe that space is created through relationship building, wherein each relationship increases one’s spatial experience, allowing for always more space to emerge. A space becomes a place as humans ascribe meaning to it through relationships with its physical architecture. Henri Lefebvre likewise explains how space is a triad of physical (spatial practice-perceived), societal (representations of space-conceived), and individualized (spaces of representations-lived) space which can be interpreted in different ways depending on one’s cultural and economic standing.  In other words, mainstream use of the word “space” is usually related to mathematics (curved, abstract, x-dimensional), to the invisible (religious or one’s mental space), to outer space or to commercial property. I believe Lefebvre explores the construction of the knowledge of space by proposing categories to allow an understanding of the production of space. Lefebvre deconstructs the meta-narrative used by the scholarly and political paradigms surrounding language of spatial formalities, while simultaneously proposing how to bridge the gap of the word’s accessibility, that is to say, the meaning of the word and its usage. Hence, space does not neutrally hover above us but is created, felt and experienced as an inhabitant.

Moreover, when the city is represented as a cinematic stage it has the potentiality to possess perceived, conceived and lived space for the viewer to agree, contest or experience. The space created in the film Biutiful is one that encompasses Lefebvre’s triad and blends them in a fluid motion to an experience rarely seen for that particular environment. The argument is that in Iñárritu’s Barcelona is a space of density, danger, heterogeneity and that there is a linking of the life-structures to life-styles. He reveals the disinvestments, the propaganda of urban culture, and how these fool immigrants.

Barcelona, Spain, as a city in the media form, is best known for being autonomous through its history, architecture, colorful typography, and music (Spanish guitar), and affluent culinary culture. Biutiful’ s cinematic portrayal of this space normally filled with cultural stereotypes is in contrast grim; its depiction of the multicultural yet racially segregated communities proposes a critique of Barcelona’s contemporary urban contestations. Furthermore, the conditions of unequal division of societal acceptance, immigrant employment, and social politics are quenched in racial injustices. For example, in Iñárritu’s Barcelona the population lives in the shadows and their movements are done in silence and in the dark, away from the glitz and glamour of the Gothic Quarter or the pervasive touristic eye. This visual representation provides an understanding and expresses the relations, orders and overview of networks that are socially constructed.

We can therefore say that every filmic city can be a place of either aggression or of complacent behavior, depending on the director’s vision. Journalist Mott Parker described this in the following way: “Biutiful was filmed in Barcelona, Spain—but this is not the ‘Barcelona’ we know. It is not tall resplendent estates, lovely food markets, and decadent restaurants. This is Iñárritu’s ‘Barcelona’: squalid, impoverished and crowded (unlike Bardem’s Barcelona fix in Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona).” Indeed, Iñárritu shows the urban changes in the layers of the city that are carefully excluded from usual media representations: a city of struggle, injustice, death, disease, and yet one filled with strange hope. Not the pleasurable hopefulness of the casual tourist, but rather existential hope that crushed frame after frame with everyday events, and as such one born out of sheer resistance.

On the other side of the spatial-political spectrum is Woody Allen’s Barcelona which can be found in most travel guides. Allen promotes consumption, tourism and capital migration for a leisure experience while Iñárritu discusses immigration as the illegal tourism, which occurs strictly in one’s struggle for survival. In Biutiful we thus see the treatment of space and how it corresponds to the social exclusion and segregation of its non-native residents, primarily Chinese and African workers, but also its native “lower-class” population to which the main character Uxbal and his family belong. Although Uxbal’s home is small and cluttered there is a serene sensation inside; the children are comfortable; in Uxbal’s bedroom there are a group of moths that accompany him each night before rest. They are large and black and slowly move their wings in a melodic rhythm; they seem to be representative to meditation, imagination, safety and solitude. The illegal Chinese workers live and work in inhumane conditions and are purposefully shown sickly and vulnerable to the outside forces whether it is the virus of contagion or the virus of the bureaucratic state. The African workers also live in poor conditions and are assaulted and brutally beaten in broad daylight by police.

One cannot miss the parallel here to the ways in which “replicants” were treated in the quintessential announcement of postmodern city in Blade Runner. In this sci-fi, the replicants are placed away from the Earth and sentenced as illegal, making them non- citizens and thus non-human, no matter how close they get to humanity in terms of physiology and psychology. The immigrants in Biutiful are equally treated as non- humans. In the same way for this non-humanity to be established, the violent extension of the state apparatus, i.e. the police, has to be brought into play. But at the heart of this force is of course corruption. A character that represents the police force has to be bought in order to keep silent about the presence of illegal immigrants. But buying of the silence leads to buying of the soul, which brings about more abuse: a proper “shock of the real” effect.

Yet, one must bring forth questions about the extent of truth provided in this cinematic display and whether or not the situation on the ground, so to speak, is so drastic and dire. Unlike the film My Beautiful Launderette where class is the distinguishing mark between “us” and “them,” Biutiful reveals a colonialist approach on race by “othering” certain characters depending on the color of their skin. Moreover, the language disconnect is severe and shows proof of the intolerance that emerges from engaging with difference.

Anthropologist Gary McDonogh wrote an extensive timeline on El Raval, a suburban neighborhood shown in the film. He discusses this banlieue as a marginalized community continuously portrayed as a negative horizon in the consciousness of the city: “Neighborhood interactions within the capitalist city are shaped by the interplay of political economic structures, social formations, and ideological conflicts. In particular, the historical development of the neighborhood as a symbol within a discourse on urban ‘evil’ in literature and journalism concerning the area over the past century is analyzed.” In this sense, speculative theories of the area and its inhabitants shape the conceived experience of the location. He further states: “For centuries, even as the barrio has been isolated from Barcelona, it also has participated-served the city. The barrio’s inhabitants have supplied a flexible labor pool; the barrio also has offered cheap housing, locales for small industry, and entertainment for the rest of the city. Yet the barrio’s life, actions and even interdependence with the city have been distorted by a discourse of separation embodied in the literary traditions about the barrio over time: the identification and construction of evil.”5 Here, it is simple to see that due to the lack of policy formation and adequate involvement communities are marginalized and marked as burdens and problems instead of trying to find solutions and initiatives for growth and improvement. In other words, the embodiment of this cultural capital is objectified and that objectification is institutionalized, by placing Barcelona as an example of the current international context: a post-industrial city that is becoming a consumer brand or product, with the goal of selling an image globally.

As noted above, in Biutiful the viewer never sees the main attractions of Spain, such as Casa Batilo or the architectural works of Antoni Gaudi. Instead the viewer is immersed in banlieue neighborhoods such as El Raval, Badalona, and Santa Coloma. The urban experience in these locations is one of economic struggle, top-down neglect and overall shared poverty. According to McDonogh this interpretation has been the stigma of the location since the dismantling of the walls surrounding Barcelona in the 1800’s. Iñárritu was successful in displaying this historical context on the contemporary surface.

The sections of the city are crumbling. There is order in the disorder. The history has inscribed itself negatively, and the economics of postmodern capitalism are eating the space from the inside. Echoing this environmental collapse of the city and its inhabitants is Uxbal body, which is overtaken by a disease that inhabits him and accompanies his actions throughout the film. Due to neglect and misinformation his prostate cancer is deteriorating him into death. It is as if the cancerous modalities (molecular, economic, political) inhabit the living city, destroying it from within its proper cavities.

Above all, cities have the capability to be time capsules of eras already passed and these eras are imprinted on physical, emotional, and mental lives of its inhabitants through the determination of the city’s current industrial state. That is to say, a period such as pre-modern feudalism may not exist in the cities of Europe anymore, but its presence can be nevertheless be felt by the traditional city layout and spatial politics. Moreover, European cities on a physical plane act as transitional representations of industrial achievements. Markedly, the beginning stages of modernity are seen in a city’s infrastructures, piping, waterways and centralization of commerce. Yet modernity has revealed its tendencies of human behavior as concurrently welcoming (in its gestures towards migration for the growth of jobs during the industrial boom) as well as unwelcoming (e.g. Berlin wall and other territorial barricades, ethnocentric policies, etc.). In relation to this Harvey states: “As spatial barriers diminish so we become much more sensitized to what the world’s spaces contain. Flexible accumulation typically exploits a wide range of seemingly contingent geographical circumstances, and reconstitutes them as structured internal elements of its own encompassing logic.” The paradox of postmodernity is that space is, on the one hand, becoming more and more “open,” with dissipating borders while it is, on the other, tightening privileges for the enjoyment of space. To be barricaded within a space that inherently belongs both to no one and everyone, and yet enforces and abides by a strict law, by any means necessary. How are barriers created? An obvious answer is through metal fencing, steel, and concrete. And a more invisible blockade comes in through language and politics. In the very openness of the city new forms of surveillance emerge. Indeed, the camera of Iñárritu is in some sense the kino-eye that wants to invert that surveillance: putting in first plan the areas that are forgotten or abandoned by the caring eye of the state. In this sense, the urban context cannot be subtracted from the structure.

Nezar Alsayyad takes this idea further by illustrating the analysis provided by Stuart Hall analysis of the modernity: “Hall’s idea of modernity as problematic and unsettling is further tied to the revision of older definitions of identity based on psychoanalysis and the construction of a distinct sense of Self and Other.”7 The binary distinction of “us” vs. “others” is still upheld in the shining metropolis of south-west Europe. The constant imposition of qualifying one sector and not the other based on societal norms, economic value and net worth is the demise to urban planning and development.

The notion of “othering” is thus thriving and cities are representative of the newer forms of postmodernity composed through neoliberal marketing, the influx of corporations and domination of privatization. This privatization specifically leads to the common theme of public versus private space and thereupon who has access to it. The answer is widely dependent on the financial standing and investment in question. It is often clear to see where a city lies in its monetary pursuits. Architecture, city planning and its arrangement function as revealers of a city’s income and asset.

Cities operate as a complex palimpsest of its history, culture, class and power structure. A mixture of gemeinschaft (society) and gesellschaft (community) is the foundation to each city’s setting. For the most part these function as a reminder of how groups of people, in or out of cinema, tend to isolate themselves in a perceived notion created by society or by the system. In an ideal world, community and society would be one word. Geographic space would be used to distribute the basic necessities such as food, housing, water, and employment equally.

Another important element of the film is the contrast between the waking life of struggle in an urban setting and the aesthetically “beautiful” side-story of Uxbal’s ability to speak with the dead. There are a few scenes in which the lighting, texture and methodology of the film give a lighter and refreshing breath to the atmospheric conditions of urban decay. For example, the first and last shot of the film shows Uxbal and his father in the snow-covered forest, a scene that is both co-present with characters life but not linear with historical time. To this end, Gilles Deleuze gives insight on the impact of cinema and the dreamscape: “There is in this image a science of precisely measured distance which separates each of them from the others, and yet an organization which connects them. They lodge themselves in a depth which is no longer that of memory, but that of a coexistence where we become their contemporaries, as they become the contemporaries of all the ‘seasons’ past and to come. The two aspects, the present that passes and goes to death, the past which is preserved and retains the seed of life, repeatedly interfere and cut into each other. Whatever the speed or the slowness, the line, the tracking shot is a race, a cavalcade, a gallop.” Uxbal’s memory of his father is thus not really a memory: he is an adult, in his present age, conversing with his young father. They coexist as contemporaries, but only in the space of dreamscape, the beautiful forest in winter season, one past and one yet to come. Here, the past that is dead contains the seed of life through which Uxbal shares intimate moments with his father in the space of the dream, which is also, not coincidently, a non-urban location (forest).

The mystical reverie that the viewer experiences in Biutiful is representative of one’s natural ability to self-care, and protection against trauma and pain. In this respect, a momentum is gained in urban cinema and in order to encapsulate it the director attempts to refrain from the realities portrayed so as to give lightness to the audience, a moment to recap and be filled with hopes and aspirations. This can be seen in a number of other examples: in Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle's use of escapism is internal; it is in his reflection in the mirror that properly him from from everyday reality. Similarly, in the City of God, Benny has the desire to escape, to leave and to begin his life again; this is shown through the love he shares briefly with a girl, which is a very common theme in urban communication. It is both a city of virtue and a city of vice.

As a result, in each dark story plot written to display the urban chaos there is remnant of innocence, of humanistic feature that acts as a reminder of our own trials and tribulations. As Deleuze states, there is a clear understanding of the jump between real and surreal, all in accordance to the laws of science and logic; but still the ability to switch the frames and perceive the space between the grayness of existence and the voice of the unspoken is important. This in itself creates a space of reality, even through its fantastical approach. Perhaps the importance for Uxbal’s to recognize his father and his legacy is correlated to the understanding of the city because history and memory is key in grasping the social construction of a space/place.

In essence, urban films stand as the grounding to the affects of the world’s reality. Starting from a macro-level: capitalism alters a space. It is in constant motion and it impacts the growth or dilapidation of its environment. It promotes or diminishes tourism; this in turn leads to illegal immigration and an imbalance in the job market. Now zooming into a micro-level: the city in turn attempts to assimilate or segregate its new inhabitants though violence and corruption. The inevitable occurs: poverty and inequities. These themes are unfortunately common, as they are lived by numerous urban inhabitants. Visualizations of city characteristics are potent in representing formed notions of cities. In the case of the Biutiful, this is captured with a lens that provides the best cinematographic expression of the human condition today, with its cancerous decay and its hopeful dreamscapes. 

Citations: 

1. (David Harvey. Social Justice and the City. University of Georgia Press, 1973).

2. (Henri Lefebvre. The Production of Space. Oxford, OX, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, 1991).

3. (Mott, Parker. "Life is Biutiful." The Queen's Journal. Version Volume 138, Issue 39. Arts Section, 1 Apr. 2011).

4. (Gary McDonogh. “The Geography of Evil: Barcelona’s Barrio Chino.” Anthropological Quarterly, Vol. 60, No. 4, (Oct., 1987) pp. 174-184).

5. Ibid.

6. (David Harvey. The Condition of Postmodernity: An Enquiry into the Origins of Cultural Change. Basil Blackwell, 1989).

7. (Nezar Alsayyad. Cinematic Urbanism: A History of the Modern from Reel to Real. New York: Routledge, 2006).

 8. (Gilles Deleuze. Cinema 2: The Time Image. University of Minnesota Press, 1989).

Lingering images of you resurface and I find myself concerned with the most extraordinary ideas. by celeny gonzalez


you: 
access to philosophical and literary worlds that encompass all my sensational desires and feed into the cesspool of knowledge that I seek, daily.
you: 
secretly unfold towers of palabras that enter my mind and exit my consciousness. 
you: 
whom use to excite my intellect and excite my perspective
and now you:
no longer _____, have _____ into the historical section of my ___ yet I fear the lost of you. I fear the lost of you. 

5 + 2 = 7 by celeny gonzalez

52 Days
7 Weeks
 

It’s day one on day one since we have mutually decided to stop communicating. 
I continue to think about you as I reject a social dinner to sit in my room and watch films like Memento and the last season in my possession of The Wire. I try to remember the butterflies but am instead filled with falseness and solitude…. 
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————
When it was not fun anymore
I went to the other side of the bed to type.
He took longer to brush his teeth.
We did not make love..
I cried, no longer externally.
I longed for the unanswered.
We smiled, less
Fought often.
Disagreed on most things.
We never seem to laugh
I wished for him to
That quest was never conquered————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Can the path of our interaction be paved?
Out of wood, out of stone, out of cement
Which meant it would stay in place,
Defined its mass, defined its space
Can our encounter be measured?
Can it make sense in natural science?
———————————————————————————————————————————————————
Yada, yada yada  in the middle. 
Beginning to blah blah.
I am reaching the peak.  
And I want this feeling to end.
I wonder where this is going, 
I wonder how far I have gone.
I keep cycling thru this arboretum
Doblegagluking all along.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Refugee's Refusal by celeny gonzalez

 

 

 

Imagine receiving news that everything you know and love will forcibly be taken away from you. Or imagine not receiving any news and have no choice but to pick up what you can and move to a foreign location, forever. What do you do if your home is in danger of sinking or if fresh water becomes a scarcity? The earth’s climate is shifting due to global warming and as stated in the United Nations High Commissioner of Refugees website, an estimated “250 million people will be displaced by the middle of this century as a result of extreme weather conditions, dwindling water reserves and a degradation of agricultural land.” The deputy of High Commissioner of Refugees, Johnstone stressed the issue in a two-week UN Climate Change Conference in 2008 stating, “The most important issue is mitigation by reducing greenhouse gases. The second line of action is adaptation to climate change, as promoted by development agencies”. To this he added, “But if these fail, we need to anticipate the humanitarian response. And this is still missing in the debate.” That is to say, a debate which will properly frame the problem and as a result provide concrete forms of action.

 

The term “environmental refugee” was first used by an environmental analyst Lester Brown in 1976 and then by Essam El- Hinnawi from the United Nations Environmental Program (UNEP) in 1982. The expression has been used to describe the inevitable and concerning dilemma of forced migration due to environmental change. Other names include: “climate refugees, environmentally displaced person, disaster refugee, and environmental migrant.” According to the International Organization for Migration (IOM), whose main focus is to assist and promote safe and humane resettlement of refugees on an international scale since WWII, the definition of “environmental migrant” is the following: “Environmental migrants are persons or groups of persons who, for compelling reasons of sudden or progressive changes in the environment that adversely affect their lives or living conditions, are obliged to leave their habitual homes, or choose to do so, either temporarily or permanently, and who move either within their country or abroad.” This working definition embodies people who are displaced by natural catastrophes such as tornados, tsunamis, and earthquakes, as well as those who choose to move from their location because of diminishing atmospheric conditions such as water droughts. This definition is used when negotiating new spaces for resettlement and policymaking on a governmental level.

 

With natural events happening in the United States and globally almost daily, it is no wonder that this concept is being put into practice and new assessments are being made to adapt and lessen the affects of global warming. As a result, the UNEP and World Meteorological Organization (WMO) developed an international body for climate assessment called The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which released a report in 2007 offering strategies to manage and prevent the impacts of weather and climate based events. One example I found to be simple, effective, and important was in the water sector. With fresh water taking up a total of 2.5 % on a global scale, there is no question as to         why this is an important conversation to have. IPCC planned adaptations include expanding rainwater harvesting: “water storage and conservation techniques; water re-use; desalination; water-use and irrigation efficiency by creating an integration system.” Moreover, with the recent discussions on California’s water drought, there is no reason not to collectively work towards water management. This is just one aspect of issues concerning global warming. Water, of course, is vital to our existence and is equally important as food production, another sector of great value mentioned in the report, i.e. the agriculture.

 

With corporations globally capitalizing on food production, land use and food growth has become standardized for quantitative value. Standardization of any kind is an extremely problematic discourse that highlights how negatively society views “the other” and how language, policy, and decision makers gleam little light on the complexities of human existence different than their own. Instead of just food policies, a reflexive approach to food justice would involve long-term structure (i.e. intelligent community driven food design) which could link multi-dimensions of hierarchy, place making, communities and corporations together and as a result end the asymmetrical and misguided food distribution. Hence, developing a thorough agenda that is local, regional, cultural and global is essential. On the one hand, the monarchial corporate food regime is one-sighted, especially in public global policy initiatives. This is a macro level problem, which involves large sums of money and few competitors. On the other hand, the cultural and social implications of the food distribution cause more harm then good. In other words, the commonly used quick fix approach to hunger often leaves those suffering with even more hunger. Creating adjustments for crops, land management, erosion control and soil protection, away from the neoliberal private sector, could therefore lead to longer growing seasons.

 

So, what have we learned? If we save rainwater and plant and grow locally, in an ecological way, the UN might consider us humanitarian? Well, not really. This could be a great start but the issue is bigger than that and perhaps if we play our part in the western world, developing countries will not have to suffer as much in face of natural disasters. Because in the end, as far as environment is concerned, there is no west and east, north and south. There is only one globe, and therefore there should be global solutions that apply to everyone.  

The Ephemeral Veil by celeny gonzalez

It is not lost on me that having been a black woman bartender for 19 years, the service industry is one that mirrors significantly the habits and behavioral patterns of slavery. A word’s etymology never lies:

 

Service – Servant – Server – Slave[1]

 

Throughout the pandemic, the first to be most vulnerably exposed and not valued in these global extremities, are those in the service industry. I accentuate the word, “first” because food establishments worked alongside the medical field and blue-collar communities to maintain sustainability, nourishment and support. Examples include, delivery persons, cooks, dishwashers, bussers, bartenders and most recently with the various phases of reopening; food servers. All of whom have been placed in the bottom of any representation for medical assurance and safety. Several states (particularly, Florida) postponed payments for months to the hardworking American citizen after the shutdown. The reality check of no job security left many of us askew. Let me not forget to mention, the mass undocumented workers who prepare food, package it, and deliver it and whom fall drastically low in the financial accountability from the majority of hospitality jobholders, as they most likely do not receive any compensation from the federal government.

 

Yet as important as these issues described are, today’s focal point falls upon the entity of service echoing slavery itself. In New York City, you can legally bartend at the tender age of 18. I began my journey as a barkeep at 17 purposefully swaying away from revealing any valid identification with young wit and charm. I received my certificate from NYC Bartending School, and shortly after, my first job in the Lower East Side. My worldview detonated from the sheltered conservative Dominican upbringing in the Bronx, to the exposure to sex, drugs and alcohol of St. Marks place. Throughout the years, my skills varied from dive bar, to night club, to fine dining. As such, it was in these institutions, where my status was slighted.

  

In relation to, but not solely on, the colloquy between server and the guest; where never is it accepted or allowed for a ‘front of the house’ employee to have a bad day, nor is it even plausible to complain when said employee, is subjected to sexual objectification or exploitation of labor during steps of service, can we find an accord. It goes without saying that in these environments, “The customer is always right” even if these customers feel the need to give staff members unacquainted life and love advice, or dismiss their entire career choice based on a hypothesis they have created on their own, simultaneously domineering the directive that every service person is in pursuit of their “dreams” and therefore in need of guidance. It is to be noted, that in no other industry, (possibly besides sex work) is one questioned whether or not, they are in a state of nothingness awaiting the arrival to their potential purpose, more than in the service industry. Together with, when it’s ‘last call for alcohol’ and in retaliation, a customer feels entitled to offer extra cash behest of local legal regulations (including possibly losing a job) so that they can have one more “nightcap” or to boot, the fluidity and assertiveness in requesting a drink/accompaniment post-work, as if, its included in one’s job description. Instead, I propose this sentiment is evocative of gestures house slaves received, as if, it is an honor to be in this position, to be given advances amongst the deteriorating flesh of classist often, white supremacy.

 

“No Sir, I do not want to have a drink with you in your hotel room or in a bar nearby or really anywhere on this planet for that matter but thanks for the invite.”  

 

 

The negotiation of negation is limited on what the server can base their necessity on. Aristotle defined the slave as an “animated tool”: the slave is a matter of which only virtually, not actually is really, human.[2] This notion is reminiscent to modern day service etiquettes. One must be cheerful. One must be accessible. One must never question. Does one maintain a happy face to avoid conflict as an exemplary of their establishment or can they afford to push back? Do they have to consistently smile and continue this cyclical conformation? The answer is no … and yes. Because, this, this is a power move. A strategic way of manipulation where if an employee, can potentially bend the rules, bend their ethics, self-agency or worth and compromise, “everyone wins”, sans employee.

 

Yet this intuitive battle is never up for debate, the need to be hospitable stretches between the lines of servant and server. Why? Because the internalization is real ya’ll. Do not misunderstand me, an extra side of ranch is never an issue, but if you assume authority over a person’s time outside the rigid clock of employment, for your personal enjoyment, this is the problem. Why is this notion even conceivable? This should never be inserted into the transaction or even debatable. This inference is reminiscent to a time where bodies and occupations were never given certain appraisal, and as such, is where my personal collision with the service industry begins.

 

We as a society are familiar with the motto: “Great customer service begins with a smile” but does it, really? I had the opportunity to visit several Slavic countries (not importing over the stereotype that Slavic countries may carry, but more importantly, centralizing the execution of how identical job titles can have vastly different tactics) and to eat delicious food and wine without the bluff of speculative theatrics to receive my meal. My experience wasn’t limited to my succinct encounter with the server, rather it was placed on the importance of whom I decided to share my meal with. What I mean to say is, my server didn’t give me her name or narrative, they simply took my order, answered any questions and refilled my glass. All of my expectations were met.

 

Additionally, in the U.S., the ephemeral veil customers expect from the moment they enter a dining establishment, to formerly being sat at a table and serviced, is unmatched to any other job narrative. Never mind the fact that not even five minutes prior to their arrival, the table was occupied and home to someone else’s perfect meal. Bussers urgently clean, wipe and present freshly pressed placemats and napkins with shiny dish ware and sparkling glassware as if you and you alone were to be its sole possessor. It’s this fairy-like falsehood that resembles that of an impossible reality. But for you, it will appear untouched, and unspoiled. This promise is beyond logical comprehension. The treatment service professionals receive is based on this, if there is any demurral, managers are involved, reviews are written, and the position of the server begins to plummet, stress levels increase, and every employee in the restaurant is affected. As such, there is a connectivity amongst colleagues which exists. An unspoken hierarchy of preference amongst the managerial staff. It is accounted for in the distribution of floor sections i.e.: preferred tables that are positioned in the dining room and even the aesthetics of the server. The outcome of one’s salary is based on these elements and ultimately, customer service sales and physical performativity makes you a big shot.

 

Remarkably, why is it that the American standard of customer service within the food and beverage industry is coated with such a thick veneer of bullshit? I have had to, in several occasions throughout my career, change my hairstyle to withhold my identity, wear uniforms to lose my identity, not be too expressive to conceal my identity, or entertain the big bosses and shelter them from the reality of work.

There have been numerous occasions where white women colleagues are tired from their shift and expect me to take over their duties, and when I politely decline, have watch them cry actual tears to management to dispute their necessity to go home and rest over my own necessity. A constant contention of dehumanization, it is as if, they imagine that I do not mind taking care of my own duties alongside their own. It is as if, because of my obvious, “fierce black woman” vibez are so strong, I can handle several job roles at once. Why not? I am a tool, an animated tool, at service, to you, to them, to everyone.

 

Prior to the BLM uprising and spotlight of the entitlement caught on phone cameras of our beloved Karens and Kevins of the states, any or all of my complaints were brushed aside as just an “angry black woman” having a day. As things go, why would I, dare to question my labor duties over that of a tired white woman? Could I possibly compete with her? A laughable offense because the internalization of wanting to please as a black woman, a Caribbean woman, an American woman in the service industry is real and relevant and has taken more than a decade for me to realize my position and absorption of this pretense to attempt to stop it.

Lastly, the façade of service is part of the capitalist fantasy where money creates a perfect reality, where the paying individual is the master and where the daily task of someone’s labor is deliberately balanced not on actual workload but of the master’s personal level of fulfilment and desire.  

 

 

 

 


[1] Old English (denoting religious devotion or a form of liturgy), from Old French servise or Latin servitium ‘slavery’, from servus ‘slave’. The early sense of the verb (mid 19th century) was ‘be of service to, provide with a service’ Merriam-Webster.com

 

 

[2] Hegel’s Master and Slave, Alain Badiou.

For Mature Audiences Only by celeny gonzalez

Childish Gambino’s video release for “This is America” is a visual statement on being black and on the perception of being black in America. It is important, strategic, and unfortunately not new. Gambino’s dancing declaration is a reminder of the constant tension of otherness/blackness imposed on the black image in America. In the time when Kanye West has been renamed “Kyle Billy Westford” because of his outlandish commentary, abrasive Trump support, and disregard to the severity of slavery, Gambino couldn’t have arrived at a better moment.

Gambino begins with the singular, slightly awkward but raw black body, in all its magnificent multitude of expressions. It has a tone of almost an homage to the black man seen throughout media and marketing, all in one. He creates a visual timeline of sorts where we are confronted with the beloved musician, a hateful attack, killings; unjustified and never punished, the exposed skin, and the vulnerable disposition. Let’s add the dancing children and eerily joyful presence they bring. This shows glimpses (or maybe it’s a mockery?) of the black man in performance art: the smiling, the frightened, the angry, the flamboyant, thuggish, educated negro... Indeed, what else are we allowed to be?

With all things considered, this is an exceptional performance from Gambino and should receive many praises. Gambino manipulates movement in the starkly grey parking lot that continues to give us complimentary images of the black experience in America in the back and foreground. The gospel choir plays a number and the children’s dance begins to make it rain. It’s a compilation of the blackness in media, culture, the clubs and we are here for it. Because blackness is American.

A century earlier a female writer announced as much:

“I have no separate feeling about being an American citizen and colored. I am merely a fragment of the Great Soul that surges within the boundaries. My country, right or wrong”

- Zora Neale Hurston, “How it feels to Be Colored Me”

What is Gambino saying? One and the same as Hurston, yet it simultaneously feels like a challenge. He wants us to push back on this black image, to see it as a mirage of the blurred realty social media imposes on our views of ourselves, and our ethics.

But is it different? I visited a plantation last weekend in Louisiana; one of the things the tour guide mentioned was public violence. Specifically, how violence was carried publicly as a warning not only for the individual but for the community as a whole. Some of the harshest punishments were reserved for those who tried to escaped or rebel against the crop owners. The narrative may phonetically sound different but the voice is the same throughout the entire period of our truths (370 people have already been shot and killed by police in 2018). Let’s examine history: in 2015, 99% of cases that involved an officer being convicted of a crime were not resolved, there was no accountability. Gambino is shedding light on a repeated offense: black bodies being shot and nothing is changing. Indeed, this is AmeriKKKa.

Perhaps what Gambino proposes is a new vision of the black individual; not Kanye’s absurd colorblindness but one where there is no fear, no running for ones’ lives; a declaration of dance, yes, a new revolution on running shoes, but more importantly, a space to analyze these repeated caricatures found in media and see their influence for what it is. We need to find a new look for them and a new outlook for ourselves. And ultimately love in justice.